I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
