apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
