we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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