There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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