i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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