When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
