Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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