You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
