There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
