worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We had sex on a dog bed..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
