your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
