Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
