My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize