i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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