Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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