Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
