You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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