I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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