Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
