can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
