Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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