R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
