who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
