i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
