He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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