just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
