Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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