Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
