; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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