I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
