hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
