Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
