Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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