Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
