My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
