Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize
