he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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