Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
