any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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