I just saw a hot homeless man
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
