look no pants
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
