am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
