Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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