Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
