I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
