If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
