According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
