Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
