This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
