I wish I could punch you in the face.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
