do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
