you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
