You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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