Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
